Psychiatrists VS Bartender

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED
AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM:

I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under
It. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.

Just put yourself in my hands for one year, said the shrink. Come talk to
Me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears.

How much do you charge?
Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor.

I'll sleep on it, I said.

Six months later the doctor met me on the street. Why didn't you come to
See me about those fears you were having? He asked.

Well, Eighty bucks a visit, three times a week for a year, is $12,480.00.
A bartender cured me for $10.00. I was so happy to have saved all
That money that I went and bought me a new pickup truck.

Is that so? With a bit of an attitude he said, and how, may I ask, did a
Bartender cure you?

He told me to cut the legs off the bed. Ain't nobody under there now.

FORGET THE SHRINKS..
HAVE A DRINK & TALK TO A BARTENDER!
IT"S ALWAYS BETTER TO GET A SECOND OPINION

Three Best Ways to Fail Drunk Driving Test

Three Best Ways to Fail Drunk Driving Test, don't try this at home ;)

Ten Husbands Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom.

"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"

Call Centre joke

Joanne to call centre:

My internet is not working properly

Officer:
Ok
Double click on "My computer"

Joanne:
I can't see your computer

Officer:
No no
click on "My computer" on your computer

Joanne:
How can I click on your computer from my computer?

Officer:
listen
There is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer
Ok
double click on it

Joanne:
what the hell, what is yoyour computer doing on my computer...?

Officer:
Double click on your computer

Joanne:
On which Icon i have to click

Officer:
"My Computer":-

Joanne:
Tell me where is your house. I'll come there and click on your "My Computer"

The DEA Agent

The DEA(Drug Enforcement Agency) Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location.

The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

Funny and The Best Commercial Video Ever Made

Watch till the end of the video to get your laugh of the day ... If you love pets you should watch the funny and the best commercial video ever made below ...

Application For Night Out

Application for night out - MEN

Application for night out - WOMEN